January 10, 2008
· Filed under Old Writing · Tagged Marshmallows, Socks
I keep a bag of marshmallows in my sock drawer.
Everytime somebody needs to borrow some socks they find the marshmallows.
Their first question is always “Why do you have marshmallows in your sock drawer?”
Their second question is, usually, something along the lines of “Do you mind if I have one?”
I’ve yet to figure out what possesses people to take a marshmallow from somebody who keeps them in her sock drawer.
I’ve also yet to figure out why people need to borrow socks from me in the first place.
Maybe the people I know just happen to really enjoy other peoples socks .
Maybe the people I know just happen really enjoy marshmallows.
But I keep them in my sock drawer for you.
Marshmallows are sugar. Pure sugar. Pure white. Pure goodness.
Socks are cotton. Pure cotton. Pure white. Pure goodness.
Steal my socks and steal my marshmallows, you probably need them more than I do.
[P.S. I really do keep marshmallows in my sock drawer. Marshmallows kick so much ass]
January 10, 2008
· Filed under Old Writing · Tagged Life, Writing
Despite the fact that I don’t know where here is, I know one thing:
I don’t belong here.
Not because I’m different though. I’m probably the most undifferent person you’ll ever meet.
I’m intensely average at almost everything. Possibly below average at a few things as well.
But I feel worn out by the tedious tendancies connections always seem to take.
Not that I don’t need connections.
I just feel my connection doesn’t lie within the realm of human existence.
I’m not connected to us.
I don’t like us.
We’re too strange of beings.
I connect with other things around us though, the earth and other animals.
If I take humans out of our known context, and view us as animals, I can connect with us too.
But it’s usually so superficial because the connection always seems to relate to some sort of vanity.
Things so trivial to our existance that I feel disheartened, almost pity, for our kind.
I’ve just come to find that there is hardly any substance to our minds.
Or better, there is more substance than we know what to do with.
I watch this obsessive pride take over mankind.
Like we deserve so much more than the rest.
Why? Where did that fucking mentality come from in the first place?
Our complexes are too complex. It’s too hard for us to attach to anybody…or anything.
On a purely emotional level at least.
Because our emotions are completely obscured by what we’ve been taught to think.
All the words they put in our heads. Words. God I hate them.
Don’t get me wrong, I talk a mile a minute, I know.
But when I talk I convey nothing of what actually goes on inside of me.
That can’t be felt through words. Words are too superficial.
Feeling things by other means is the only way possible for me, crazy as it seems.
So here’s me, staring into the eyes of some fish and feeling every emotion on the spectrum.
Like this little fish understands me, like he knows exactley what’s in my head. Like I know exactley what’s in his.
I feel intrusive like I don’t belong here, but I can’t look away because he’s feeling the same thing.
And so we just stare at each other for awhile entraced by the serenity of another’s thoughts.
Until we finally look away.
Then life continues like nothing happened at all.
But it’s so strange because you’ve just glimpsed another creatures most personal being.
Bonding yourself for eternity with another’s soul, or whatever you want to define an infinite spirit as.
It’s so intense, like a great wave crashing down. Sweeping away your empty, hollow, self and replacing it with a sense of purpose.
I crave this connection at all times. I must have it. It’s what ties me to all living things around me.
But I don’t feel like I can have it here, wherever here is.
It’s too narrow. It’s too similair. It’s too transparent.
After I find here I’m gonna find there and that’s where it all becomes clear.
I’m connected somewhere to something; many things, all at once.
And all I can do is feel them, seeing is out of the question.
I’ve never been of the extreme religious nature however…
There’s some evident truth in not always having to see everything in order to believe it.
January 10, 2008
· Filed under Old Writing
So I write a lot…probably more than I should.
I keep it all in various places: On the computer, on myspace, in journals, on my homework…I find things that I’ve written everywhere. I want to start posting some of it on here. I think that most of it’s more fascinating than my boring days.
Not that I’ll quit writing daily blogs about my life-because I will.
But I think that’s more for me than it is for anybody else.
So I’m just gonna dump a bunch of stuff I previously wrote into different blogs tonight.
And that’s the story behind the beginning of this category.
I’ll post new writings on here too eventually
But until then it’ll just be stuff I’ve written in the past couple months.
Yup. And that’s The End of The Beginning.
January 9, 2008
· Filed under Day to Day · Tagged Accomplishments, Sleepy, Tuesday
I’m wayyy tired. Seriously, my eyes can hardly stay open.
Worst of all it’s only 10:28.
There was a two hour delay due to snow this morning so I even got to sleep extra…meh well what can I say? My body is just crazy.
I had a lot of firsts today.
I drove in the snow which actually isn’t bad-it’s easy compared to driving in ice.
I ate two entire safeway bagels with a little help from cam and clare.
I used my debit card to buy gas–without the transaction failing three times first.
I managed to interpret a poem outloud while eating poprocks in snods class.
Major accomplishments right there…they were pretty extreme.
Late start wednesday! Yes!
I swear I’ll start posting more interesting posts that are more than just about my boring day to day life. But until then.
Goodnight World.
January 8, 2008
· Filed under Day to Day
So today is most certainly a Monday. That sums it up nicely I think.
Usually my crap day during the week is tuesday. Because if you think about it…tuesdays just make no sense. They aren’t a beginning, middle, end, or the day before the end. They’re just pointless.
Monday filled my crap day this week though, so tomorrow better be good…or else.
I woke up early this morning to do some last minute homework because well, I’m a pretty awful procrastinator. I got it all done and even had an extra ten minutes to get ready. Of course then I couldn’t find any clean clothes, and by the time I did I was actually ten minutes behind. Giving me a total of ten minutes to fix my hair, get my stuff together, and run out the door. Well naturally this ended up taking me about twelve minutes which put me two minutes behind schedule. I got out to my car and it was completely frozen. I couldn’t even get my key into lock it was so frozen. I stood outside my car holding my lighter to my key so it would melt the ice in my lock. I’d heat up the key, try and get it in the lock, heat it up some more, try again. Finally I got it in the lock but it wouldn’t turn so I had to stand there some more with a lighter to my key. I think all the people driving by probably thought I was some sort of crazy pyro but whatever. Then my spraydeicer wouldn’t deice my windows and I think I used up like half of my can trying to get it to deice. Then it wouldn’t defrost and finally deciding if I didn’t leave I would be insanely late I just left with only like an inch of visibility through my windshield. I was like a little granny all hunched over trying to see out of that little non-fogged patch. It was totally cool. I made it to school with a good 4 minutes to spare…but the roads were insane. I seriously thought that my car was going to die on some of those ice patches…winter is pretty extreme in it’s moods. Tomorrow I go out to my car at 7. Hopefully that’ll get me to school on time…dear lord that’s insane…I can’t wait until spring.
Other then that I was just forgetting everything. I forgot my jacket in chemistry and in english. Then I forgot my progress report in english as well…which I needed for math.
It was just one hell of a day. But whatever. Tomorrow’s a new one.
On the plus side…I had the best undercooked cookies today. Mmmm :]
January 7, 2008
· Filed under Day to Day · Tagged Boring, Sunday
Today was insanely boring.
I sat on my bum all day.
Did some homework, talked to cam and megan, got a blizzard to get out of the house, came home….and sat on my bum some more.
Sundays are soooo lazy.
January 7, 2008
· Filed under The Aquarium · Tagged Fun, Kids, Seattle Aquarium, Volunteer
This last saturday, January 5th, I had my first shift as a High School Volunteer for the Seattle Aquarium.
Scary as hell.
I’d gone through a grand total of three trainings mind you…but three was definitely not enough for me to feel prepared. I waved my nifty little badge to open the door to get in, I walked inside and stepped onto the sanitizing pad, I signed in on one of the fancy sign-in computer, I walked upstairs to the teen lounge with the amazing view from pier 59, I took a deep breath and it was time to get to work.
The Seattle Aquarium was just finishing up with their winter event known as “Fishtival,” So all of us teen voluteers were helping out with the special events taking place. It was bird day so we were in charge of running the bird related activities for the kids. I actually ended up having a really amazing time and got used to everything really quickly. Little children are amazing in their differences. You start to notice how each one of them have their own little quirks. There was this one activity where we were pretending to be birds hunting for food. It involves using various kitchen utinsils to fish out plastic bugs buried in this huge tub of rice. The point is to teach kids about how different birds have different beaks that can get different types of food. But give kids some rice and platic bugs and trust me–they really could care less about the lesson behind it. I had one little girl inform me that birds were icky for eating bugs. But yet she couldn’t stop picking up the bugs with the tongs. Then there were little kids that would just kick and scream when their parents made them leave to see the rest of the aquarium. That rice is just way too much fun. It was interesting though to see how each kid handled his or herself though. I know that everybody has a tendancy to kind of lump kids behavior into a certain stereotype…but as i quickly learned. They’re all very different.
I did a bunch of other stuff too…like pass out binoculars made from toilet paper tubes and colorful string so kids(and adults) could go birdwatching. I also passed out prizes for finding all of the birds at the aquarium. It’s fun to see peoples faces when you tell them you can keep something like crappy toilet paper role binoculars. They get sooo excited…it’s like they’ve won the lottery. I think I should just randomly give people toilet paper rolls on a day to day basis. Because that happiness was the coolest thing to experience. I don’t think it would have the same effect outside of the aquarium though :[
I got to talk about oil too, and it's harmful effects on our marine environment. That was really disheartening...people just don't seem to care. Little kids would seem intrigued but then their parents would yawn or sound bored and you could tell that they really didn't care. The little kids would then pick up on that and would start to seem really apathetic as well. And in my head I was just sooo disgusted by how people were reacting to what I was saying and it made me really sad.
Despite that, I had such a wonderful time. I can't even believe that I'm doing this, it's crazy. The atmosphere is so amazing and the people around me have such spirit and it's obvious they all want to be there just as much as me. There were definitely a few exceptions but for the most part, we were all just there doing something good, having a good time doing it.
I'm excited for the rest of this year!! It's gonna be fun :]
